The beginning... I am a modern day mother and these are the confessions of my heart. It begins in the dark with the soft sound of the man I love resting deeply beside me. The rhythm of his sleep begins to unwind me from my day. Our beloved daughter rests peacefully across the hall and I feel the accomplishment of another day come to pass. For the first time since waking about 20 hours ago, my mind begins to focus on the deeper whispers of my heart. The reality of life that is denied to me during the busy day. I run to various places and meet with various people through the day with a perfect smile. It is all leading up to the desired result of bettering my family. Aiding my daughter in school by jumping through the proverbial hoops of the PTA and staff of her school.
Since being laid off from the career world over a year ago, I have tried to salvage my self worth by drowning myself in volunteer work at my daughter's school. The insane thing is that the level of satisfaction has been on a deeper level than any job I have ever been compensated for monetarily. My husband stress over the bills and the impact of losing half our income and in the secret place of my heart I have hoped against finding a new job. I feel like I am truly serving my job description as mother when I can show up at her school and be present and accounted for. My self worth soars further on the proud smile of an 8 year old.
Where is the balance. How does a modern day woman and mother find the line between providing and being present in the lives of a debt ridden family. Through my writing and the insights of those in the world of my blogging darkness, I hope to begin to unwind the answers together. It is the quest of our generation of women, mothers and lovers... where do we go from here?
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